Hello Table, you know I’m so happy to be back at the table. I promise I will make every effort to be more consistent with these discussions. My trip is over and now back to work. So I know the question is weird, so I’ll re-word it like this at what point are you considered a grown-up? By standards it would be when you’re 21 right? Well does that mean you’re grown or you’re older? Are you grown when you’re taking care of yourself? See I ask these questions because recently one of our many children decided to get into a shouting match with her father. One of the things she stated was you can’t talk to me like that because I’m grown. Now I listened to this shouting match and then I thought to myself, well are you really grown or just older.
You see I have a problem with these children nowadays claiming grown status but you need mommy and daddy to help you every time you turn around. Now this is not all kids, but a lot of kids feel that they are entitled to the stuff they’re parents have. A parent’s only job is to raise you and make give you the proper tools to become productive citizens in this world. Once you hit 18 you’re technically able to be on your own, but we as parents say hey we will still be there until you are definitely able to get on your own two feet. Some parents continue to help while you’re in school or when you’re saving for a new apartment or car, but when you are not doing any of those and you have no job and to top it off you bring extra baggage than you are taking advantage of a good situation.
First off, parents of old would not allow you to be in their home with no plan anyway. I know a lot of parents who stop helping kids at 18. Ok, let’s clear something up when you reach a certain age you should not be treated like a child. I don’t treat my teenagers like I treat my twins and toddler. However, please do not shout to your parents I’m grown but you have nothing backing it up. Now I don’t agree to throw up in your child’s face every time you do something for them. I do agree to remind your child every now and then that this a safety net not a sit and stay in net. I believe children today are raised a little too soft. This is what happens when we don’t prep our children for life. This is why participation certificates should be given out in little league or football. You either when or you don’t. You learn from the disappointments you go through.
You can’t try to fix all the problems your children they have to do that for themselves or they will fail in life. There are two types of kids: those who realize they don’t have any bills, so all the money they have they are saving and grinding so that they can get out on their own and have something and then there are those who have no responsibilities and decide well I guess that means they’re taking care of me and I don’t have to do nothing. Which one are you? Please parents remind your children that if they want to be grown than we’ll treat them like they’re grown, but you can’t straddle the fence. We have to let them know what happens when you play adult games with children brains. Let me know what you think. Keep it respectful. See you at the next discussion.
Richard Gardner maintained that children who suffered from what he called Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS) had been indoctrinated by the other parent without cause. He recommended that such children be removed from the so-called alienating parent and placed in the custody of the accused abusive parent.
I don’t agree with that but parents need to find a balance between spoiling your child and providing them with things that themselves (the parent) never had. When children have to work for something they tend to appreciate it more than if you just gave it to them. Giving a child responsibility versus oh do it when you want helps them become productive adults but just removing them from one situation to an even worse situation creates an adults without a lot of baggage.