Hello table, we’re back for another fun-filled time at the table. So now before you got to this part of the conversation you had to pass by the title. So… are you your child’s friend? Now before we actually start taking comments or answers on this topic let’s examine it in its entirety. First of all I would hope that the initial response is yes I’m my child’s friend, but do they think because you’re friends you’re equal? Well let’s define friend. Friend – one attached to another by affection or esteem. Well I can say that my children are attached to be by affection and vice versa.
The thesaurus says that a friend is a confidant, companion well I’m sur my children think of me like this too but now this is where my definition of friends with my children start to get murky. Confidant, they’re not my confidant. There are a lot of things children shouldn’t know. Children should be just that children. Why complicate they’re lives any more than necessary by confiding in them adult issues. True, they’re great companions when I want to experience my inner child but I’m an adult, so unfortunately I have to spend most of my time in adulthood therefore I need adult companionship. Now if you’re shaking your head at what I’m saying it’s ok because you are probably one of the many parents who have blurred the lines of friendship with your children.
You see when you blur the line between parent/friend than you confuse the child. The child now thinks they can speak to you in adult way. The think they can comment during an adult conversation when you do speak with an adult. They feel they can do whatever you do because you’re friends, right? Negative! Get a grip parents you are not your child’s friend, you’re their parent. See when we start raising kids like this than they will eventually come into contact with parents like myself or just old school parents in general and we be about to lose our mind when we witness some of the things they do.
I have generally experienced this with single parents, specifically single moms, not saying that this doesn’t happen with dads just more often than none with moms. I also don’t believe this is all single moms, so I’m not stereotyping. Believe me I was a single parent for 16 years before I got married, so I know a little about what I’m talking about. I also see this is in parents who had they’re children at a young age. So they decide they will have the relationship with they’re child that they didn’t get with their parents. They tend to develop the Oedipus complex. Some single moms treat their sons like their man and their daughters like their best friends. Wrong!
Bottom line is its ok to give your children the best but don’t blur the lines between parent and friend. Give your children guidance with discipline and not friendship with lack rules. Remember that your child will be an adult and if you don’t properly equip them with the tools they need in life they will struggle. You don’t have to be like the parents of old, learn what your child likes, get involved, do things with them, but never let them believe that they’re an adult and on equal playing field as you. I would like some comments on this topic but keep it respectful. See you at the next discussion.